30 Things We Thought Were Normal As Kids But Were Actually Super Unsettling

Childhood memories often seem normal until a person grows older and gains perspective. Many experiences that felt like everyday occurrences as kids can later be recognized as deeply distressing. A recent Reddit thread explored this idea when someone asked , “What’s a ‘normal’ childhood experience you later realized was actually traumatic?” Thousands of people shared their personal stories, shedding light on just how common yet unrecognized childhood trauma can be. Here are some of the most eye-opening responses.

It’s clear that what seems ‘normal’ to a child can later be understood as anything but. Recognizing these experiences as trauma is often the first step toward healing.

#1

Being told ‘stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about’—like, oh cool, emotional suppression unlocked at age 5.

#2

I wasn’t really allowed to complain or express frustration with my experiences because someone in my family had had it worse when they were my age.

#3

Never receiving any hugs from my parents. Or valuable advice. Not even when I cried/was hurt physically. Comfort was quite absent, too. I only realized few years ago when I saw an 17 year old teenager leaning against his dad and telling him about his struggles about an upcoming big decision. Never have had that level of support and comfort and it still makes my eyes water when I think about it in weak moments. .

#4

“Talking back”. Turns out they just wanted me to be silent and have no opinion or feelings. My mother and stepfather used to constantly say how I was mouthy and constant talked back- well yeah, how else am I supposed to communicate? Smoke signals?

#5

The silent treatment. I still assume that someone is angry when they’re quiet. I’m 70.

#6

Constantly walking on eggshells to avoid making my dad angry.

#7

Getting teased and/or made fun or for liking certain things as a young child.

My older sister often teased me for the tv shows i liked to watch and made fun of my drawings when i created my own pokemon for example. Same thing in school.

I still remember every single instance in of it in detail. To this day i dont like to share my passions with people and supress strong displays if positive emotions around others.

#8

Always getting ‘constructive criticism’ instead of praise. Draw a picture? “That looks weird, you should fix the eyes on that.” Make a painting? “You chose weird colors. I wouldn’t have done it like that.” Get a 95% on a school project? “Why didn’t you get 100%?” It created people-pleasing tendencies which led to never feeling like anything I do is ENOUGH. I’m grown and married to a man who thinks sunshine radiates from my pores, but still feel often that my best isn’t great.

#9

Being told to eat everything on my plate, regardless of whether I was still hungry or not. I now have no idea when I’m full unless I’m over full.

#10

My uncle tickling me until I cried.

#11

Being made fun of when you go to parent with an uncomfortable situation. I was at a sleepover and another girl wanted to “play house” by laying on top of me. I was so uncomfortable I wanted to go home and afterwards my mom made fun of me for it. Guess who never went to their mom with feelings again.

#12

Being a parent’s therapist. You shouldn’t be talking someone out of s*****e when you’re 12.

#13

Waiting for my dad to be in a good mood to ask him something.

#14

Thinking that I’m inherently a mean, evil, broken person at age like….8 or 9.

When I watched inside out 2 it honestly shocked me that Riley thought she was inherently a good person lol.

#15

Every time I had knee pain and told my mom I wanted to go to the doctor I always got “you think that’s bad? You wanna hear about all of my problems?!”

That was until my cartridge broke off and it was floating around under my skin by the time I was in high school.

#16

Avoiding my dad when I could tell that he was angry.

#17

Being ‘spanked’ with a leather belt doubled over.

I had broke yard sticks and wooden spoons so.. they ‘had’ to find something g else.

I don’t even remember what I did wrong?!… I know I was a ‘bad kid’ but I honestly don’t remember doing bad things. 🤷🏻‍♀️.

#18

Having my hair chopped off because I wasn’t taking care of it to my mother’s standards.

I was 6, and had very long, very curly hair. Of course I struggled to take care of it!

#19

Pretty much my entire childhood, it wasn’t normal to be at the pub till close on a school night with the local alcoholics helping me with my homework, It wasn’t normal to be kicked out of the pub and be taking to the complete strangers house so it they could carry on drinking. It wasn’t normal to beg your mum while crying to turn the music down so you could get some sleep. It wasnt normal for the kids at school to push you down the stairs or follow you home throwing rocks and rubbish at you. That most kids didn’t get themselves up for school, skipping breakfast cuz you couldn’t reach the cereal, then carefully pick your way past the needles, glass and human s**t to get out of the estate so you could get there.

#20

Being told we have no where to live at the end of the month. Everything being hand-me-downs and smelling like other people, you never feel settled, like you’re in a strangers house, bed and clothes.

Poverty, real poverty in general. Don’t have kids if you can’t afford a great life for them.

#21

Being told to suck it up, boys don’t complain when they get hurt or sick.

#22

Unintentionally traumatic: “They’re just bullying you because they’re jealous of how smart/pretty you are!”

Oh cool, make me feel ashamed of my positive traits AND it’s my fault for getting bullied for existing. Win-win!

#23

My mom yelling at me when I was hurt or sick instead of being nurturing. She has bad anxiety and doesn’t handle stressful situations well. This has lead me to crave a ton of sympathy/attention when I’m sick as an adult.

#24

My mom would go into these insane cleaning frenzies where you got yelled at if you didn’t suddenly start cleaning along with her. As soon as you heard the vacuum, you knew she was gonna be in a terrible mood. Day ruined for sure.

Whenever my partner vacuums, I get really upset no matter how many times she tells me she’s not mad.

#25

So apparently obsessively praying to not go to hell is a disorder.

#26

Being told we (mom dad and I)can’t leave my uncle’s house when we were about to leave from a family dinner until I gave my uncle a kiss on the cheek.

#27

I wouldn’t say I’m traumatized from it, but I realized I’m a people pleaser because my father never showed me that he was proud of me when I was younger. His attitude towards my achievements would lead me to believe they were expectations more than things to be proud of.

It was an internal conflict I struggled with throughout my teen years and into my early 20’s, but I’m glad to say I’ve been working on it since recognizing the root cause of my people pleasing.

#28

Being told that a boy trying to kiss/touch me in school & making me very uncomfortable/scared was just because he had a crush on me.

#29

Anytime I brought up something my mom did that I didn’t like or was uncomfortable with I was told that never happened. In fact she still does it. It’s really messed with my memory because now I have a hard time remembering what actually happened and what I was told happened and what I was told didn’t happen. They are all sorta mixed up in there.

#30

Having emotionally volitile parents does a ton of damage. When kids can’t predict the moods of their parents it leads to heightened threat scanning behaviour and people pleasing. These tendencies cause tons of self esteem and burnout issues later in adulthood.

Parents, from a therapist, I beg you to be more emotionally consistent with your kids. And stop being children yourselves about this stuff. Ive had grown a*s adults in my room jealous of and angry at their own children because the kids take attention away from them with their partner. It’s a mess. And have some boundaries. Your kids are not your therapist.

Saumya Ratan

Saumya is an explorer of all things beautiful, quirky, and heartwarming. With her knack for art, design, photography, fun trivia, and internet humor, she takes you on a journey through the lighter side of pop culture.