25 Signs That Scream “Single Lifestyle”

Humans are rather predictable and tend to have routines and patterns that govern our lifestyles. These traits can easily be picked up on by observant people based on which they can determine quite a lot about someone’s life. Recently, Redditor Riff_lick601’s thread went viral for its more than 4500 observations that people made about what telltale signs indicate a person is single. Scroll to read the most interesting replies shared in the gallery below.

#1 I used to work in the film industry, meaning I got fed two very good meals a day + snacks. So when I went to the supermarket it was basically some cereal for the weekend, toothpaste, maybe some chocolate and a lot of beer.

I’d get to the checkout (this is in London) and a large Jamaican lady would scan my items and say….. “tsk ohhh, you live on your own don’t you?”

I’d shyly nod “yes”.

“You don’t have a girlfriend??? You want a girlfriend?”

Then she’d shout to the till 2 away “Sylvia! SYLVIA! you want a skinny white boyfriend?”.

#2 The other side of my bed is used for keeping my water bottle, it’s where my phone sleeps, my emergency midnight bag of crisps, I take my bra off just before bed and stuff it there. There’s no room for anyone else to sleep on that side.

#3 Not finishing your groceries before they go bad because they don’t get eaten fast enough.

#4 Having 8 cats.

#5 The lawn chairs in my living room.

#6 Incels, mostly. They never shut up about it.

I don’t play golf, but I don’t spend my life complaining about not playing golf, or how I’d be a really good golfer if golf only gave me a chance, or how golf is such a b***h and doesn’t want me because golf doesn’t know what’s good for it even though I’ve never bothered to make the slightest effort to learn how to play golf.

#7 When your trash stinks. Not because you threw something stinky in there but because as a single person you don’t produce enough trash to fill and take out a bag of trash before it all rots and stinks…

#8 Believing in an Alpha/Beta/Sigma pecking order.

#9 I got teased for this at work recently, but “ordering a sh*t ton of takeout for Friday lunch so you don’t have to cook over the weekend.”.

#10 I bought one of those “DiGiorno Pizza – for one” personal pizzas at Walmart and the cashier said “Fun night?” as she rung it up.

#11 Soup for one, salad for one, wine for three.

#12 (Straight) guys with long dirty fingernails. No woman would let those UTI daggers go anywhere near her fun bits.

#13 I have two seats in my tiny apartment. One faces the tv. The other is for the computer. They don’t face each other. Oh, also, I have one pillow on my bed.

#14 Actively looking around at parties.

MhrisCac: That might be the worst one, having nobody to anchor to temporarily at a party is the worst feeling. Feeling like you’re a random free floater desperately searching for somebody to connect with blows.

#15 Going to the gym by yourself in the evening on Valentines Day.

#16 When I need my laundry chair to game, I move everything to the laundry bed. Then bedtime comes and my laundry chair is reborn.

#17 Guys that are really into Andrew Tate.

#18 Being able to wake up on a saturday morning, think to yourself “f**k it” and stay in bed for another half hour before you decide wether you’ll be reading, gaming or going somewhere today.

#19 When the price of rent makes you physically sick to your stomach because all the places are priced for two.

#20 Me eating lasagna straight from the pan.

#21 I’m going to be positive and say “Doing whatever you want all the time”.

#22 When I was in college, single, and broke, I went to the grocery store and they had these really…adequate frozen spicy chicken sandwiches on sale for like 25 cents a pop. I grabbedall of them.

I went to ring up, the cashier said “Wow, that’s…a lot. These must be really good.” I responded with “Eh, they fill the hole.”

Dude scanned a couple more in silence and asked “So, you’re like, really single, aren’t you?”

#23 My first ever apartment after I moved out from home,

All I had was a TV, Xbox, and bed, no other furniture. My whole apartment was empty.

My fridge was full of beer and frozen foods

I’d say that’s pretty bachelor.

#24 Not being invited to stuff because everyone else is going with their SOs.

Real_Sir_3655: Or being invited anyway but hanging out with kids or grandmas instead.

#25 Always available for last-minute plans: No need to check in with anyone, so you’re always down for spontaneous hangouts.

Shanilou Perera

Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.