25 Raw Takes From Couples Who Chose Forgiveness Over Breaking Up
Everyone knows relationships are complicated and require compromise. Patience, forgiveness, and strength are essential to overcome the differences that arise when two people join their lives. Most couples eventually face even greater challenges that can have a significant emotional impact.
It’s hard to leave a relationship, even when it becomes painful and disappointing. We’re taught that commitment involves compromise, so many people choose to stay and work through difficulties, even after immense hurt or betrayal. Recently, someone online asked, “What’s the hardest thing you ever forgave your partner for, and how did the relationship turn out afterwards?” Redditors revisited their emotional struggles as they shared stories about overcoming deeper issues as a couple and the ultimate outcomes of those relationships.
#1
We used to fight bitterly. Small things would boil over and become very messy very quickly because we weren’t communicating well.
It came to a head about 18 months ago when he slam my laptop shut and out of my lap, which actually broke it, and then pinned me to the bed and shouted in my face.
Now, I will preface this by saying that while I know that domestic violence isn’t just the act of actually hitting/hurt someone, he didn’t hurt me and I have thrown plenty of his stuff around over the years. Neither of us is innocent and my actions don’t excuse his actions, vice versa.
We split up for a while, he went to therapy (something I asked him to do repeatedly over the years but he’d never do), went on medication for depression and started going to the gym, which gave him a healthy outlet for some of his frustration.
I continued with the therapy I’d been in for several years and talked through my own problems.
Eventually, we got back together. Things are not perfect but they are much better now. We got married earlier this year (we had been together 8 years already) and we communicate much better now. Small frustrations are less likely to explode into ugly fights.
The dog is much happier, too, so that’s a bonus.
#2
Less than a year after marrying, my husband confessed his alcoholism was worse than I knew and he was over $10k in debt. Counseling, ultimatums, lots of fighting and thinking we would not make it, and especially since I was raised by an alcoholic dad I was not keen to stick around and thought we were headed to an early divorce. Tried to live with it for a while, had a baby, thought things were okay, then a b**b dropped and I found out he was having booze delivered to our house and getting wasted while home alone caring for our infant. I just about set his a*s on fire and never wanted to see him again. I kicked him out and was in the process of figuring out how to get him out of my life for good.
He stayed with his parents while he worked his a*s off to better himself, came clean to everyone in his life and admitted he had a drinking problem, started SMART meetings and got an at-home blood alcohol test to show me his sincerity and hold himself accountable, overcame his alcoholism, and is a completely different person today than he was 3 years ago before we both quit drinking completely. That, in my opinion, was 1000% undeniable marriage-level commitment, that was what I signed up for. He showed me he was fighting for us and was worth that fight. It genuinely made us closer than ever and helped me further appreciate that I married an incredible person.
#3
He got way too drunk at a friend’s party and cheated on me with a coworker. Not like full on s*x cheating, more like snuggle and kiss cheating. The next few months were really tough. He immediately quit drinking, saw a therapist, and we set some boundaries and house rules to rebuild trust. For example, if he was going to be late getting home from work, he called me. These little things, over time, were essential to rebuilding trust.
I also had a bunch of therapy. Like others have said, it can be hard to let go of stuff. I made a choice to stay with my partner, and I realized that continuing to be mad at him wasn’t fair to either of us. I decided that our present and future together was more important, and when anger would surface, I would remind myself of that. This only worked because we were both putting in effort to move on.
This event was three and a half years ago, we’ve now been together like 8 years. We’re doing great.
#4
I always asked him to never drink and drive. He totalled my car and got a DUI like 6 months after he turned 21. I stayed with him. He was a raging drunk. Relationship fell apart a few years later. I’m much happier without him.
#5
My ex-boyfriend had an affair with one of his classmates when he started grad school. It was extremely difficult but I forgave him and hung in there. We had been dating for a few years at that point.
A few years later he cheated again and we broke up for good. I’m not sure I can ever excuse that kind of behavior in a relationship anymore.
#6
I stayed with him after he beat me the first time. And the second time. And the dozens of time afterwards. What made me finally get the courage to call the cops was after I had our child and I wasn’t only out for myself anymore. Our lives are much better now. I try to take it as something to learn from— I will never allow anyone to put their hands on me again.
#7
He ghosted me for a week when my friend died because he couldn’t handle my emotions, I forgave him and then he did the exact same thing on the anniversary of her death.
There were a lot of other red flags and the relationship was very on and off, but that was the final straw.
#8
Being a jerk.
Since he got a CPAP machine, he’s amazing.
Turns out he’s been exhausted from years of terrible sleeps. Now that he’s sleeping through the night, he’s a totally different person.
#9
My ex boyfriend of 6 years was cheating on my but I didn’t do anything about it. I had his phone to give directions and he got a message from a girl named Rebecca. I opened it. And saw countless of conversations of them flirting. Spamming a few months. Then he got a snap chat. I opened it and it was her naked saying “good morning” it was evening. But whatever. I kept quiet about it for a day, then questioned him. He said it was all in joke and nothing serious and she’d never sent him a n**e before. Stupidly, I bought it. About 10 months later he ups and leaves me. No reason. Nothing. 6.5 years. Won’t tell me why. Then she adds me on snap chat and starts harassing me. I no longer tolerate that behavior. I also don’t search my husbands phone. Total trust. I shouldn’t of wasted my time on my ex.
#10
I caught him talking to a college friend online about our s*x life in disturbing detail. I continued to catch him emotionally and online cheating on and off for the next 7 years (he never had the guts to do it in person, as far as I ever found out.) It was always little stuff. He always had his reasons. I was 18 when the relationship started and didn’t really have a solid foundation to understand how someone should treat you.
He also lied repeatedly about our finances, locked me out of our own online bank account so that I wouldn’t know about his lies. He lied about losing a job and pretended to go to work everyday for months. He sold a family heirloom of mine to cover this up financially. That was the final straw.
In the end it came out that he was a narcissist. He did a lot of nonsense to feed his own ego without regard for others. Narcissists are pretty ace manipulators (and as I said I didn’t have a great foundation myself at the time) so it took me a LONG time to realize what was up and leave.
#11
My husband of 6 years cheated on me 3 years ago and i was going to leave but he begged me to stay so I stayed. Things seemed to be okay for about a year and a half after that and then out of the blue he told me to take our son and get out. Turns out he had been having an online relationship with some random girl from another state and had a ton of secret dating profiles, so of course I left. Three months later he begged me to come back because online girlfriend found out what happened. I’m now happily engaged to someone else who actually respects me and makes me a priority.
#12
He cheated 2nd year and 7th year (LOTS of backstory we do not have time for here – let’s just say infidelity is a SYMPTOM of things wrong in a relationship) – I forgave him both times. I’m not sure he has ever forgiven himself. It took many years (probably about 6-7) to trust again. We are now at year 33 and we couldn’t be happier. Our kids are grown. We have an incredible partnership. We are best friends. We have worked exceptionally hard on our relationship and it has been worth it. We love and adore each other.
#13
My ex and I were each other’s firsts (we got together right after high school, and were together almost ten years). I confused his lack of interest in my pleasure for his inexperience. Honestly I’m fairly hard to get off (props to my bf who makes it happen on the daily and figured out how to make it happen within 10min) so I wasn’t trying to judge and I’m sure it was very frustrating dealing with that. However even with communication about it, it never really got better. I didn’t see him try harder. Eventually we stopped being intimate for the last two years of the relationship.
Second one was when he started a new job in a customer-service area. One of his coworkers was smitten immediately and apparently they were talking all the time at work. He didn’t tell her we were engaged for the first three weeks.
Third was when he gaslighted me about his infatuation with her and defended their “friendship”. People started putting their input about us into his head, and said I was trying to alienate him from having platonic women friends in his life. This went on for a solid year before he finally blocked her.
Last was right after our breakup. It was mutual and amicable, but it didn’t make it any easier. I found out for the first few weeks of us being broken up, he was fooling around with his best chick friend (who was a mutual friend of ours and I had hooked her up with another mutual friend – they had been together about 3-4 years) under my nose. She broke up with her ex (the friend) and he was actually the one who gave me the heads up when he found out about it.
Anyway needless to say, we both gave each other lot of chances. We simply were not compatible.
#14
I was with my ex for like, 6 years and about once a year I’d catch him sexting random women on dating websites, like sending the same messages to scores of all types, even trans though he’s not gay? Idk, but he always said that p**n was boring and using these sites and getting these people to send him nudes was how he got off. He cried, promised not to do it anymore, things got better… So I bought it, or wasn’t sure what else to do so I stayed.
Things were kinda normal until he made friends with two girls about 4 or so years younger than him at his restaurant job, they were bartenders and friends and they flirted while at work probably and definitely did so in text… Which was unprofessional af, since he was the manager.
Anyway, told him not to keep in contact with them after picking up on their “friendship, he did. Our relationship soured and one night I got fed up and waited til he was asleep and stealthy unlocked his phone (had to try the dn fingerprint thing since he kept his phone on lock down all day and kept the passcode a secret too) and boy did I find a PLETHORA of texts and pics proving that he was having an affair with those two girls(sometimes together) and I ended it that night. It was a st show. My only regret is that I didn’t get out sooner. We were pretty incompatible when I look back, and my current bf is my actual soul mate and I couldn’t be happier now!!
Tldr: he cheated, and unsurprisingly, he did it again. 10/10 not worth.
#15
I’m in the midst of this. My husband lied about having a job for a year, getting the money from his parents instead. I found out in February and I’m still wary about trusting him. We went into marriage counseling (before I found out), and after the reveal he went into individual therapy, got on antidepressants, got a job (for sure), and basically has done everything I’ve asked in order to regain trust.
I forgave him because his action was rooted in shame of not being able to get a job. I get that. And he seems to be trying really hard to become a better person, not just for me, but for himself. Often though, I wonder if I’m just fooling myself by staying. If he could lie about having a job, what else could he lie about?
#16
Not me but my parents. My dad cheated on my mom with the neighbor when she was pregnant with me (22 years ago). She says she only forgave him because of her kids, at the time, she was a stay at home mom and she didn’t have a way to support us by herself yet. My dad was genuinely sorry for what he did and he’s spent every day since trying to make it up to her. My parents are still together and they have given us a great example of what marriage should be. Even with the bumps in the road.
Speaking on it now, my mom says she doesn’t regret staying with him and if she could turn back the clock, she really isn’t sure if she’d actually leave. But she learned a good lesson: never rely on your SO financially 100%. You never know what could happen and if you ever need to leave, it’ll be 10x harder if you can’t support yourself.
#17
Husband cheated. I told him he had to leave. Now. He cried, apologized. Said he would give me and the kids his paycheck and move in with his mom with just enough money to live on. I told him I didn’t want his money. The kids and I will be fine. He cried even more. Weeks later we had a counseling session. He is back home now, has been for over a year and has done everything he can to appreciate me for all that I do for him and the kids. To make matters worse, he cheated in the middle of the year and a half between both of my parents dying so I’m in quite an emotional roller coaster now.
#18
Found out my then boyfriend was messaging other girls the day before my birthday one year. Not the way friends would message, more like ‘I don’t love neonloneliness, I love you’ and ‘I’m gonna take you a hotel room and tear your clothes off with my teeth’
Took him back. He then slept with someone else a week later. Found out months after.
Took him back again (yes I’m an idiot but I was vulnerable and he was a manipulative compulsive liar)
Then found out he had said to a group of our friends, bearing in mind my mum had been dead about 6 months when we got together, ‘I don’t get why neonloneliness isn’t over her mum yet, it’s getting boring now’. That was the moment I realised he was an utter piece of s**t and was never gonna change. I’m still trying to build myself back up from all of that, I really didn’t think I could ever bounce back from it. But I’m getting there, one day at a time.
#19
I stayed with my boyfriend of 2.5 years after he relapsed on alcohol (4 years sober) and lost his job, ran up out credit cards all as a result. The betrayal felt overwhelming but I also saw how much he had been struggling mentally and emotionally. I helped and supported him through that and we have been together for a year on the other side. Some days I go back to that resentful and mistrusting hurt person but through the process we both found a Higher Power and gaining that honestly felt worth the pain of everything that happened. We are more honest, open, and in touch with each other now because we know what happens when we neglect each other like that.
#20
I found some messages on her phone to her best friend about me. Mean-spirited stuff. I was really hurt and she expressed that she was venting and didn’t really feel that way. We went to counseling and worked through some old resentments.
#21
I stayed after he got real drunk, chased me down the street and tried to lock me in the trunk of our car by my neck. It was the first time he had ever been violent in 3 years. A minor incident of violence a couple of years later, and ended up leaving him 2 yrs after that because-after being voluntarily unemployed for over a year while I worked 80+ hrs per week to support us-he went into a rage about my wanting to give a homeless man $30 for a pair of shoes (we could afford it, his feet were wrapped with packing tape, and it was negative 8 degrees Fahrenheit in Chi).
#22
After being married for a couple of months I found out my ex-husband hadn’t been paying child support. All the money we had been “budgeting” was him just spending it and not sending it to his ex.
It all came out when he was sponsoring me for residency and he told the immigration lawyer in front of me. I could not believe it. Thankfully his ex was a SAINT and signed paperwork to forgive the debt. She is an incredible human. I should’ve known then that he wasn’t a good guy.
Divorced five years later but hey, at least I got permanent residency from it.
#23
Deciding 5 years in, while actively try to buy a house together, that he didn’t want kids. Covid lock down started a week later and we were forced to keep living together and trying to sort it out.
Honestly, I’m glad now that I don’t have kids. The last few years have been really bad and my responsibilities have just skyrocketed. Both parent diagnosed with cancer, I was the primary caregiver, both have passed, leaving me grieving and running the family business alone. My granddad passed. My grandma suffered multiple strokes and had to be moved to an assisted living facility. My uncle has chronic intestinal bleeds and had to be moved to an assisted living facility. Multiple pets have had cancer or other severe medical crisis pop up and need extensive care or surgeries.
I’ve been struggling to keep myself and my business alive, I can’t image what it would have been like to try to do it all with a toddler. If I had kids when I was younger, I think I would have been a good mom, but the last couple of years have chewed me up and spit me out and I’m afraid I would have royally screwed up a baby.
#24
He pinned me against a wall by my throat.
He’d been emotionally abusing and gaslighting me for a few years, so when he said he was sorry but I’d just pushed him too far, I believed him.
I tried to leave, he convinced me to stay. The isolation, gaslighting and emotional a***e got worse. I forgave him for everything he did while ripping myself apart inside for every little mistake.
I had to call my mum when I was getting groceries because otherwise he wouldn’t let me talk freely.
I tried to leave again a year later. He threatened to k**l himself. I stayed with a male friend who s****************d me in my sleep. I had nowhere left to turn, so I went back. He said that guys like that are why he didn’t want me to be alone with other people.
It took me another 2 years to realise that when she slapped me while I was crying, it wasn’t to “snap me out of it”, it was to make me stop being annoying. So I learned not to cry.
4 years after he pinned me to the wall someone crazier than him tried to take over my life and claim me as a trophy. She and her boyfriend got most of my stuff moved out in a day, then that was it.
He told me that I was “good at making people fall in love with [me]” but I would “hurt everyone around [me]” and the words that haunt me still are;
“One day you’re going to look around and find yourself all alone, not knowing how you got there. It’ll be because you pushed everyone away who was trying to help you.”
I’m still recovering 5 years later. I’m engaged, I’m getting better, but he did a number on me.
As soon as he laid his hand on me in violence I knew do down I had to leave. But it was so much harder and more complicated than I imagined.
#25
This is going to sound strange but I forgive/accepted him for not EVER saying he’s sorry about anything. If he’s wrong 😑 and knows it, he will be quiet and isolate himself for the rest of the day. In the morning will be extra nice/remorseful through his actions but the words “I am sorry” will never leave his lips. This is only when we are having larger arguments and those are few and far between.
Shanilou Perera
Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.
“Alaska Isn’t Next To Hawaii?”: 25 Moments People Realized They Were Dating Someone Kinda Stupid
Being in a relationship has its entertaining moments, and partnered-up folks have been gathering to relate their experiences dealing with an SO that seems to be the living embodiment of a dad-joke.
As much as we would love to claim that these stories sound made up or AI-written, it appears that, from the 8 billion people in the world, there are moments where even the smartest whip displays an acute sense of stupidity that would be shocking if not for the incredible entertainment value they provide. Scroll below to check out a few examples of the funniest moments when these Redditors found out that their better half may not be quite all there in the intelligence department, but decided to love them for it, regardless.
#1
Never took a shower, always a bath. I’d ask why and “she just hates showers” Finally our grown children pressured her into an answer. “I just hate that first cold blast of water when it starts” Kids and I look at each other for a while, I finally say “I hate it too, that’s why I am usually OUTSIDE the shower when it happens” Long awkward silence. She has been showering ever since..
#2
Cooked me a cup of noodles with no water.
#3
When he straight up thought baby ducks were called quacklings. But to be honest, I actually prefer his version.
#4
Oh god. My SO has his PHD and is, on paper, super smart. However, when we had a rare sunny day (I’m in Scotland) he got one of those disposable BBQs that are basically just a tray with the charcoal in it. He set it up on a wooden chair because apparently “it won’t burn this”. Cue one very charcoal chair.
Bonus story: he decided he didn’t need to shut the electricity off to change a socket. Looked at me like I was an idiot for suggesting this and then proceeded to get an electric shock almost immediately.
Edit: sooo many people assume his PhD is in the arts. It’s not – he has a masters in Engineering and a PhD in Neuroscience.
#5
#6
I bought him a new watch and it was water resistant.
I told him I wanted to see him wearing it at the pool when we go do laps. He did two laps, got out, took off his watch and came back to the pool.
I asked him why he took it off. I thought maybe it was uncomfortable.
He told me it was water resistant “up to 100 meters” so he took it off after two 50 meter laps.
#7
My wife spent two hours installing a wireless printer because she didn’t plug it in. “But it’s wireless!”
She also cashed a check and when they asked if she wanted big or small bills she said regular size.
Both stories are absolutely true, and I’m so goddamned happy I married a living dad joke. (She’s definitely no idiot though)
#8
He forgets the names of things, and so will often make up a new name in the middle of a sentence without breaking stride. My personal favorite was when he forgot what a sandwich was called, so he asked me to make him a “meat bread”. Throughout the years I’ve become fluent in husband, but at first it would take me awhile to figure out what he was talking about.
He also does this thing where if he forgets someone’s name, he renames them Terry in his mind. He called our neighbor Terry for over a year, to the man’s face, until one day neighbor’s wife finally corrected him and told him that neighbor’s name was Neil.
My husband is an absolute idiot, but he’s my idiot and I love the hell out of him!
#9
We were putting away the groceries when I see her take a new jar of salsa, open it, and put it in the fridge. I asked her why she did that and she said:
“It says right on the jar to refrigerate after opening.”
I swear, she’s smart as a whip most of the time.
#10
She was at the store and I remembered I needed some whole chickens for the weekend, so I call her up and ask her to grab a few. Over the phone she says “the big kind or the little kind?” “I dunno, the largest you can find, it doesn’t really matter”. She shows up at the house with two 25 pound turkeys. Her entire life she believed turkeys were just larger chickens.
#11
When she answered the door in a s**y negligee…when I was bringing my parents over for dinner. She then swore, ran off, came back and apologised to my parents for swearing then ran off again.
#12
When she told me, quite seriously, that wind is made by trees.
You know, because they sway around which pushes the air around and thus makes wind.
She was not kidding.
#13
When he gorilla glued his bathroom door shut to see if he could break it down. He couldn’t.
#14
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALASKA ISN’T NEXT TO HAWAII ” Followed by, ALASKA is connected to Canada??
#15
Very early into our relationship she said something to the effect of, “I miss living in the mountains. When I lived in North Carolina, we had this beautiful mountain range… I think they called it the Rocky Mountains? Anyway… I wish we could go back sometime.”
We live in the Appalachian Mountains… Just a little north of where she grew up… It’s quite literally the same mountain range she saw as a kid…
#16
When I asked him to grab the “crushed red pepper” for my pizza, and he got offended. He asked me why i didn’t just say “the red flakes”, and that I was just trying to sound smarter than him.
#17
My boyfriend insisted that cooking certain things in the microwave was a hassle since you had to “stop them early” because the microwave only cooked in 30-second increments. I’m not sure what he thought all the numbers were for, but his life changed that day.
#18
My husband told me that he never slept in hotel sheets because they “never washed them”. So instead, he would wrap himself up in the comforter and sleep in that. The big fluffy comforter…
#19
When she insisted that Kim Jong Un was the leader of North Carolina.
#20
I’ll speak for my wife.
Up until about 2 years ago (I’m 30) I honestly believed goats were the male version of sheep.
I still don’t live that down.
#21
My crazy ex girlfriend told me a story once about her very special car. See, she thought buying gas was for other people and that her car didn’t need it. Evidently she didn’t realize this wasn’t the case till one day, she had run out of gas on the side of the road. Her ex boyfriend had been filling and keeping her tank full, so she just assumed her car ran off the battery.
This was nearly 15 years ago, where the notion of an electric car was futurology.
#22
When the ex wife accused me of making up the word hypocritical after telling her that her actions were just that. “You think because you’re smart you can make up words to call me and I won’t notice?” One of those moments where you open your eyes really wide and take a moment to process what you’re hearing.
#23
I’ve posted this before, but it’s my favorite story.
In the middle of a conversation that was referencing Washington DC, he angrily stated that what I was saying was impossible, because people don’t live in Washington DC.
I stopped, wait what?
“No one lives in Washington DC, they aren’t allowed.”
Are you serious?
“Yeah, only the President and the secret service live there, in the White House.”
He was 26.
#24
We sat on the porch of her rented house during university, smoking. It was nighttime, the stars were out. I saw Venus, asked her why she thought that star was extra bright (hoping to drop my planetary knowledge.) She said maybe it’s closer to us than the moon. I said “What does that mean?” “Like it’s between us and the moon.” She then explained that she thought the stars float around and change their positions, and that they were small. I ran into her house, told all her housemates, and we informed her about stars. She’s a PhD scientist.
Edit: Biology. Cigarettes. As for it being rude of me to run in and tell her roommates, it was. But she didn’t beleive me, thought I was messing with her. Told her the sun is a star and she laughed and was like ‘now I KNOW you’re kidding..” Went inside to confirm this with her roommates (also good friends of mine) and we all had a good laugh. I’m no genius, can’t point out countries on a map. We all have our faults, I just thought this one was particularly funny especially given that she is a brilliant scientist now (this was in 2nd year).
#25
He told me there was a giant tsunami rolling in. We live in Arizona.
Edit: This story is about an ex. He was dead serious when he said tsunami. I googled the definition of tsunami and told him what it was and he proceeded to call me an arrogant b***h.
Shanilou Perera
Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.
